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The identity of the workplace
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An analysis of the most obstructive and unsympathetic people in the Great British workplace, based on national research in conjunction with OnePoll.
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The anatomy of a workplace ‘Can’t’
(i.e. an apathetic and unhelpful colleague) according to a poll of 2,000 UK-based respondents:
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Sarah The most common workplace ‘Can’t’ name
5’7 Average height of workplace Can’t
31% Cited her as brunette
44 Average age of workplace Can’t

 

19% Based in HR Department
54% Said they were female
From those who said their workplace Can't was a man:
David The most common name for a male workplace Can’t
25% Cited him as having grey hair
16% Estimated his height as being between 5'9 and 5'11
13% The majority said that he worked in their employer’s HR department
33% Guessed that he is aged between 45 and 54
The workplace ‘Can’t’ might be seen with:
Horn Rim Glasses
Large Nose
Moustache
Sandals all 
year round
Red Face
Tattoos

 

From a list of personality traits, the top five qualities of the workplace ‘Can’t’ were:
Deceitful
Unproductive
Confident
Committed
Argumentative
A ‘Can’t’ Watchers Guide According to respondents in each area, the identities 
of common workplace Can’ts across the UK.
Scotland Female, named Elizabeth, working in Customer Services
North East Female, named Sophie/Elizabeth/Victoria (tied scores), working in HR
North West Female, named Emily, 
working in Customer Services

 

Northern Ireland Male, named Peter/Thomas 
(tied scores), working in HR
Yorkshire
and Humberside Male, named Paul/John 
(tied scores), working in HR
West Midlands Female, named Julia, 
working in HR
East Midlands Male, named David, working 
in Customer Services
Wales Female, named Sarah/Beth/Lucy (tied scores), working in HR
East Anglia Female, named Sarah, 
working in HR
London Female, named Julia, working in HR
South East Female, named Emma, working in HR
South West Female, named Emily/Sarah (tied scores), working in HR
How us Brits consider dealing with the workplace Can’t:
40%
Scream and shout silently or in private, out of sheer frustration
39%
Change the workplace 
seating plan to be further 
away from the Can’t
36%
Seek new employment
30%
Approach the Can’ts superior 
in an attempt to cut him/her out 
of work processes and protocol
22%
Change profession or 
career path entirely
22%
Compete with that 
person professionally
22%
Consider working from 
home/remote working
20%
Call in sick in a bid to avoid 
a meeting with the Can’t
18%
Seek advice or buy tools/instructional material in a 
bid to ‘bust stress’
15%
Consider counselling
12%
Relocate or move away
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